Well, it's Tuesday. I'm sitting here at my desk. I've filled up my little portable Coke fridge, I've gone through the work-related e-mail that accumulated over the long weekend, and I'm sitting here preparing to tackle the last of the Shakespeare study questions that I'm supposed to proofread. I still maintain, by the way, that Shakespeare was highly, highly overrated. When I was in England back in 1990 on a choir tour, one of the places we went to was Shakespeare's house. All you need is a tour of that place if you want proof that people are taller now than they were then. Unfortunately, the guy who was leading me was considerably shorter than I am. So after my skull turned the rafters of the place into a xylophone, my opinion of Shakespeare had already dropped another level.
I was doing something this morning when I woke up a little earlier than normal: I tried doing some reflecting. I wanted to look at where I am now and compare it to where I was a year ago. All one need do is look at my LJ entries from a year ago and compare it with entries from the present, and I believe the difference is stark. A year ago I was filled with insecurity, depression, bitterness, and hopelessness. I didn't know where I stood on so many fronts, I was scared, I was basically plain miserable. What a difference a year makes. I mean, I still have my moments, who among us doesn't?, but overall, I'm so much happier than I was, so reassured on so many of the issues that terrified me a year ago. I have attained a level of self-acceptance which, while it still has quite a ways to go, is miles ahead of where it was. I know precisely where I stand in so many respects wheras last year there was only insecurity at this time. I'm excited about the future instead of dreading it. I am so much closer to God now than I have been in years: my prayer life has sky-rocketted, my attitude toward church has done a one-eighty, and the feeling that God is directing my life is so real to me. It's truly wonderful.
I want to thank all those who have stuck with me in these LJ entries. It's been a roller-coaster; no doubt it will continue to be one, life has, by its very nature, its ups and downs. But where I am now is so very different from where I was, so much more exciting, and so much more full of promise. For the first time in years, I am not only accepting my lot in life, I am truly glad to be alive.
