November 23rd, 2007

Bruce, Caroline

Life in These United States (no relation)

All right, so here I am, Caroline beside me writing an LJ entry of her own. She has been such a gracious, wonderful, loving host, it's absolutely beyond belief.

After I got here on Tuesday, here being Milwaukee, we swung through the drive-thru at McDonald's for a quick bite to eat. It was the first thing I'd eaten all day, other than a couple of tiny, tiny packets of chips I had on the plane. I had, for those of you who took my McDonald's poll, a double quarter-pounder with only the meat, the bun, and ketchup. Unfortunately they didn't put on enough ketchup. I also had fries and a vanilla milk shake. Mmmm, yum, grease.

Of course, one of the highlights of this trip (one of many) was the big Thanksgiving dinner Caroline was going to make for me. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, instant potatoes, and a packaged brownie for dessert, oh, and a breakfast sausage with "TURKEY" brailled on it. Okay, kidding. Actually we had fresh-baked right-out-of-the-oven corn bread, sweet 'n' sour rice, a corn casserole, and rump roast. For dessert we had her famous triple chocolate cake, and I can see why it's famous!

We watched Monday's Corner Gas episode together. Together! It was so cool! "Eat at the Ruby! It's not my fault!" I loved it.

So here we are, it's Friday already, hard to believe. I'm writing on a TV tray with the keyboard and a Coke on it, and Caroline beside me. I know the cyber-world is different from the real world, but in this case, the real world is even better.

Oh, by the way, I spent a fortune on cellphone calls in Minneapolis, where I had a thre-hour layover. I tried making a voice post here, honest I did. But, uh, anyone wishing to hel me recoup my losses, I take paypal at Don't worry, I am not asking for donations, that was called a joke.
Bruce, Caroline

Ode to Ketchup

Ketchup is so very great,
Yes I know 'tis true,
I gotta have some, I can't wait,
Such wondrous-tasting goo!

I didn't always like it, no,
I was young and immature,
But now I've grown to love it so,
Oh Heinz, thank you, for sure!

The meat slides off the burger bun,
The fries soaked through and through,
The weiner swims 'round in its bun
That's how I know I have enough ketchup even if I can't come up with a rhyme.
Bruce, Caroline

Voice Post:

203K 1:00
“Bruce decides to use Skype to record a voice post, but Skype decided to be a pain or something. So, we're discussing the need for Bruce to behave himself on the grounds that not doing so would result in the lack of homemade French fries. During this conversation though, Skype decided that it didn't want to be connected any longer so it accused Bruce of dialing wrong numbers. I think Weird Al summed up his call the best when he said: "Don't go makin' phoney calls, please stick to the 7-didget numbers you're used to." Or, at least it was something like that.”

Transcribed by: kittytech
Bruce, Caroline

Voice Post

117K 0:35
“Hello, I am testing the auto transcribing feature. I want to see how well it does words from the hitch hikers guide to the galaxy such as wonderful children's names like V Pod, Slided(?) Bar Fast, and Hague Hurting(?) Fast. I also want to know how it handles names like Bruce Tays and Caroline Condom. Thank you very much. This has been a test and whoever transcribes this you better be a computer. Bye.”

Auto-Transcribed Voice Post
Bruce, Caroline

Voice Post

208K 1:00
“Hi everyone, I wanted to pose a serious entry here because I owe a lot of people a lot of thanks. This trip that I took to Malwaki(?) has been ___ long time in the making. I booked my ticket on August 26th and through that time between then and now there have been an awful lot of pit falls and a lot of things that we thought might be snags but they turned out not be. But through it all I've gotten so much encouragement here from friends and from people who don't even know me very well. It's been very humbling to say the least and I know I speak for Caroline as well. Well I just say thank you to everybody whose encouraged us, who has provided advice and whose done so much to make this trip possible and to make it the wonderful trip that it is and that I'm sure will be on it's ___. Thank you everyone and you've made a huge huge difference and I won't forget that.”

Auto-Transcribed Voice Post