Bruce Toews (masterofmusings) wrote,
Bruce Toews
masterofmusings

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We Don't Need no Stinking English

When I was in my previous job, I'd have endless arguments with my volunteers. These wonderful people, mostly considerably more youthfully-challenged than I, believed that the evolution of the language stopped the day they set foot in school. No more changes after that. These hapy memories prompted me to write an English poll. All these questions are dead serious, now!

Poll #1096806 Talking Good English

I consider my grasp of the English language to be

crummy, and I no care.
0(0.0%)
crummy, but I's working on it.
1(6.2%)
good enough to get by.
0(0.0%)
good enough to get by respectably.
5(31.2%)
better than most.
8(50.0%)
impeccable.
2(12.5%)

I consider good grammar, punctuation and sentence structure to be

irrelevant in my everyday life.
0(0.0%)
something nice, if you can do it.
1(6.2%)
something only sighted people worry about because I can use my blindness as a exkyoos.
1(6.2%)
very important if one is to be respected.
11(68.8%)
not as good as ketchup on chicken, but a good thing nonetheless.
3(18.8%)

With respect to the evolving nature of english:

English is an ever-changing language, and it's only natural that the rules that applied to our grandparents don't necessarily apply to us, and vice versa.
10(62.5%)
Those stupid Americans wrecked it, though if I were to be truly honest, I'd have to admit that the British took far more liberties with English than Noah Webster and his kind ever did.
2(12.5%)
English was an evolving language until I started school, but must remain frozen in time from that point onward.
1(6.2%)
English was enhanced when the words "ketchup on chicken" were added to it.
0(0.0%)
"Fries with that" should be added as a phrase of its own in the dictionary.
3(18.8%)

When a blind person who is able to learn braille chooses not to, relying solely on audio, the resultant bad spelling means he or she should be

excaused, because he or she is blind, after all.
1(6.7%)
pitied or coddled, because he or she is blind, after all.
0(0.0%)
considered illiterate by choice.
8(53.3%)
not taken seriously when his or her Kindergarten spelling and grammar is compared to his or her literate counterpart.
4(26.7%)
somebody else's problem, I'm not blind and I don't care.
2(13.3%)

When it comes to satellite radio, I prefer

XM.
7(43.8%)
Sirius.
3(18.8%)
ketchup on chicken.
3(18.8%)
a night out with the cast of Corner Gas.
0(0.0%)
other, please specify in comments.
3(18.8%)
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