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Bruce, Caroline

You Just Can't Win with Girlfriends

Apparently Caroline isn't happy with my "sleepy" and "somnolent" mood choices. "You're supposed to be moody, okay?" she said. So, I shall endeavor to please the lady I love. Thank you all for your understanding. Bruce toews, CJOB News, Winnipeg.
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Comments

Ahem! You are not listening.
Now you are a very original human being.
It's your originality that makes me enjoy everything you write and your originality helped Caroline to fall in love with you.
But you do, my dear, fall short on the mood department.
It's nice to be sleepy or somnolent, but can we have some jubilation once in a while?
Or if not that, how about, relaxed, mellow, content, recumbent...(now that's a good one), or heck, you could even be exanimate.
But how about other types of moods, like...
jubilant
happy
ecstatic
thrilled
excited
jazzed
wild
or we can go to the other extreme
sad
troubled
uncomfortable
anxious
(We'd prefer you to be happy though instead of these sadder moods.)
Heck, you could be Bruceish and have moods like,
ketchupy,
commedic,
freedom fried
pizzaed off
(now that's originality)
or
pasta point of caring.
Come on darlin', get original!
Shazza, Caroline's squire, who is now sheathing her sword!
*Now this is all in good, sisterly loving fun!)
The main thing about girlfriends,
Is that they mystify.
They leave us at our wit's end,
Though heaven knows, we try.
We think that what we're doing,
Is working very well.
But then, they speak and tell us,
That somewhere, we strayed and fell.
The best thing to do at times like this,
Is agree with what they say.
Then, follow it up with flowers,
And chocolates to save the day.
And so, my friend, I say to you,
Do as your girlfriend says.
That way you won't have to worry,
Or vash da dishes. Yezz.