?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Bruce, Caroline

So Much at Steak

I had a yummy steak at Applebee's yesterday. So I thought I'd give veryone the chance to design a steak for themselves. But remember, save the last ketchup for me, as the Drifters would have said.

Poll #1219179 Guild the Perfect Steak

The ideal steak is

barbecued
6(75.0%)
done in the oven
2(25.0%)
microwaved
0(0.0%)
heated on a paving stone in Winnipeg in mid-August
0(0.0%)
someone else's, I hate steak
0(0.0%)
someone else's I'm a vegetarian
0(0.0%)
other, please specify in comments
0(0.0%)

A steak should be cooked

rare, with a few moos still left in it.
1(12.5%)
medium rare.
3(37.5%)
medium well-donemedium
2(25.0%)
well-done
2(25.0%)
charred, à la Bible college cafeteria steak
0(0.0%)
for someone else, I hate steak.
0(0.0%)
for someone else, I'm a vegetarian.
0(0.0%)
other, please specify in comments.
0(0.0%)

The best steaks are the ones

you make yourself.
4(50.0%)
someone else makes for you.
3(37.5%)
not eaten, I'm vegetarian.
0(0.0%)
not eaten, I hate steak, and am really not sure why I've come so far in this poll.
0(0.0%)
where the ketchup outweights the meat.
1(12.5%)
with the peanut on top. Oh no wait, that's Squirrel peanut butter.
0(0.0%)

The best meat for steak is

beef
7(87.5%)
ham
0(0.0%)
pork
0(0.0%)
deer
1(12.5%)
buffalo
0(0.0%)
cat
0(0.0%)
dog
0(0.0%)
brontosaurus
0(0.0%)
telemarketter
0(0.0%)
that vegie soy stuff
0(0.0%)
no, honest, I really hate steak, and why I'm taking this poll is anyone's guess
0(0.0%)
other, please specify in comments.
0(0.0%)

A steak should be

thick
6(85.7%)
thin
0(0.0%)
doesn't matter, as long as it's lean
1(14.3%)
ignored, as I am a vegetarian
0(0.0%)
given to someone you despise, I really hate steak.
0(0.0%)

On top of my steak, I like

ketchup
0(0.0%)
ketchup
0(0.0%)
ketchup
0(0.0%)
ketchup
0(0.0%)
ketchup
0(0.0%)
BBQ sauce
0(0.0%)
steak sauce
2(33.3%)
mushrooms
0(0.0%)
onions
0(0.0%)
anchovies
0(0.0%)
cheese
0(0.0%)
mixed vegetables
0(0.0%)
a garbage bag, I really hate steak or am a vegetarian, or both
0(0.0%)
other, please specify in comments
0(0.0%)

Steak should be served with

baked potatoes
1(12.5%)
mashed potatoes
0(0.0%)
French (Freedom) fries
0(0.0%)
rice
0(0.0%)
mixed vegies
0(0.0%)
sallad
0(0.0%)
onion rings
0(0.0%)
ketchup for dipping, in case there's not enough ont he steak
0(0.0%)
a smile
0(0.0%)
it shouldn't be served, darn it, I'm a vegetarian or I hate steak.
0(0.0%)
Other, please specify in comments.
0(0.0%)

The best drink that goes with steak is

milk
1(12.5%)
Coke
3(37.5%)
a soft drink other than Coke
1(12.5%)
wine
1(12.5%)
beer
0(0.0%)
an alcoholic drink other than beer
0(0.0%)
alcoholic punch
0(0.0%)
nonalcoholic punch
0(0.0%)
fruit juice
1(12.5%)
water
1(12.5%)
whatever it is, it better be filling, because for one reason or another I'm not touching the steak!
0(0.0%)
other, please specify in comments.
0(0.0%)

Complete this piece of poetry: There was a garden tractor/Its engine shone so bright/And if you tried to start it up/...

Tags:

Comments