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Bruce, Caroline

Feeling Old

I didn't think turning forty would be any big deal. Certainly, turning
thirty-nine wasn't. I figured, forty's still young, right?

Maybe it is for everyone else, but why do I feel as though in one day
I've transitioned to geezerdom?

It's not helped by the fact that today is a rainy, damp, very windy, and
cold day outside. While waiting for another Handi-Transit passenger, the
driver left the door open. Cold rain blew in, and I wanted a blanket. I
felt as though I were aching from the cold. What's next, I wondered, am
I going to switch from being a primarily rock 'n' roll and comedy DJ to
elevator music and inspirational stories? Am I going to start eating
prunes and liking them? Will I start refering to young entrepreneurs as
know-it-all whipper-snappers or something equally geezer-like? Will I be
a crabby old man or a jovial old man? Why didn't forty seem-old at
thirty-nine, but now it seems ancient? For crying out loud, why
me!?!?!?!?!?!? I was in my early twenties only a little while ago, how
the crap did I come to be forty all of a sudden?

I find myself being ashamed of myself a lot more than I used to.
Granted, this is probably just me playing catchup from the days when I
didn't recognize when I was acting like an idiot.

I just read a psychology text that said the mid-life crisis in males is
a myth. Don't you believe it, don't~ It's real. I hate it, I don't know
what it means or what it accomplishes, but it's real. I want my twenties
back, especially if it's downhill from here. Yes I'm grumpy, darn it!
When I was your age, we respected grumpy people.

Comments

Aww hugs. Damp rainy days suck for making aches and pains worse. I always feel really old on days like that.
Well, you can be grumpy at times I suppose, but you'll never be a geezer. Not my Bruce. :)